brown eyes
by tiara the divabat

You said I had dark brown eyes -
You're the only one that noticed.

Not that my eyes ever escape notice;
- indeed, I have lost count of all
the people who come up to me and
tell me
   - "Your eyes are sparkling!"
   - "So pretty!"
   - "Nice eyes!"

but no one ever notices that they're dark brown.

Officially they're black. "Officially".
A description of myself as determined by
hired admins and my parents;
   - people who claim control over me.

Officially, my eyes are black.
Officially, I am just a girl,
two weeks shy of 21,
relocated to another hemisphere for the purpose of education.
Nothing particularly unusual.
Officially.

But my eyes are not black.
Sure, I am just a girl,
two weeks shy of 21,
relocated to another hemisphere for the purpose of education.

But I am also a woman, growing,
placed in a new world,
finding footing,
making sense of the choices and chances
that accompany me
while I discover where I am.

or who I am, better;
choices and chances leading me
on tracks I didn't think I'd
follow anytime soon.

Black was usual, typical
as it should be, inherited for generations
part of the line, no deviations,
monochrome.

Dark brown was of slight difference
Subtle, but warm
perhaps a little mysterious
colour.

I nearly believed them when they said
officially my eyes are black.

No one really noticed.
Not just what my eyes really were -
but also the shifts in my energy,
my search for truth in meaning,
my thoughts rolling and racing,
making sense of choices and chances.
- What I really was.

and I nearly believed them.
I nearly believed that there was nothing to notice
And that no one will ever notice.
Sure, make your comments -
but never notice the truth.

Until that night
- you noticed something.
the shifts in my energy,
my search for truth in meaning,
my thoughts rolling and racing,
making sense of choices and chances.
- What I really was.

By choice you noticed me;
by chance I noticed it too.

Warm milk with caramel
- sweet delight
As you noticed me
and I noticed you
   - and we stopped noticing all else.

By chance you chose me;
by choice I took that chance.

Now I no longer believe them when they say
officially my eyes are black.

Because those hired admins and parents
won't be able to control me
or my description.

I am not merely who I am officially.
I am a woman, growing
Following new-discovered tracks
through choices and chances
Warm milk with caramel
sustenance for finding footing.

And so I noticed.

You said I had dark brown eyes -
So did you
We're the only ones that noticed.